<Written July 19, 2016>
I’m sitting on an uncomfortable metal chair, trying to keep my mind occupied. If I let it wander too much, I know I’m going to start hyperventilating about the class I taught today. It’s not that the lesson was not well-received. In fact, I think every student learned something. From that standpoint, it was a successful day. But my lens won’t allow me to see the positive, because the negative is affecting too much of my present and future.
I received my site placement yesterday. I’m stationed in Dzahani II (of three in the Itsandra area) –a small town of 968-or-so people. My classroom is made up of over 200 students, of which many are likely from the surrounding villages. Across the street from the school is my future house. I will share it with my cultural counterpart who has yet to give me his name. We both have free use of the living room, but I get my own bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen. In fact, the Peace Corps renovated the house for me, so my bathroom will be brand new (I’m looking forward to that pristine porcelain toilet).
In my village I’m told there is a disorganized library. I have a hard time keeping myself from fantasizing about it. I know it is likely a dingy room with a handful of books, but it is a quiet place set aside specifically for the purpose of reading. I can’t help but imagine myself setting up the system of borrowing books, and reading at the front desk for hours while checking books in and out. As this culture is extremely personable, having time in the community that doesn’t involve talking (and often joking about my accent) is a rare find.
Of course, I won’t jump into anything. The expectations of the community might be too great at first (clubs, clubs, clubs). I also want to get to know the village before I take over one of their public spaces –it’s simply not my place unless I’m wanted. I just need to wait.
Wait.
I have spent my entire life waiting for stuff to happen. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been in a place where the wait is completely over –at least for big things (I graduated college and had to wait to start Peace Corps. I am in the Peace Corps but have to wait to start service. And so on). But, I suppose thinking about the small things is better. For example, I have been waiting all day to go to the café in Moroni. Instead of thinking about waiting for the next phase of peace corps training, I can think about how I am almost at where I want to be: sitting in a café, eating a chocolate croissant with espresso and a spoonful of sugar.
A Moveable Hunger 